


Gender Confessions

by phancuddleswithstyles



Category: Internet Personalities, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Oneshot, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 17:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5426063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phancuddleswithstyles/pseuds/phancuddleswithstyles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is friends with youtuber Phil online, and it’s amazing. But there’s one tiny detail that Dan has lied about, and it makes everything complicated. Phil thinks that Dan is a girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gender Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I have no idea if this is a really unoriginal idea, but I haven’t personally seen anything similar atleast. Lemme know what ya think :) You can also read my fics on my tumblr, where i have the same username as here, phancuddleswithstyles :)

Amazingphil: How was your day dan? Was school okay? :)

Dan smiled to himself when he saw the familiar username pop up in his twitter DM’s. He could never get over the fact that Phil, fricking Phil the youtuber, was his online friend. It was a dream come true. If it wasn’t for one tiny detail…

Danisnotonfire: School was fine. Lonely as usual. But I feel better now when ur talking to me :)  
Amazingphil: Aw i’m sorry…I wish i could be there and be ur friend IRL :( I can’t believe that nobody wants to be friends with a sweet girl like u!  
Danisnotonfire: Don’t worry, i’m used to it. U always make me feel better :)  
Amazingphil: <3 I have to go to bed now though, I have a lecture early tomorrow :( sweet dreams xx  
Danisnotonfire: okay, goodnight sweetie <3

That was the tiny detail. Phil thought that Dan was a girl. 

It’s not like Dan had planned for it to happen. It just happened. He never expected Phil to answer his silly youtube comments. But one day, he did. Phil had thought that Dan’s comments were sweet, so he suggested that they should talk on twitter. Dan had almost exploded with excitement. It didn’t take long until the question about “real names” came up. Phil had asked if Dan was a nickname for Danielle. At first, Dan was going to correct him. But he had stopped himself. Phil had said himself that Dan’s comments were “sweet” and “adorable”. He didn’t want to freak him out by sounding like the gayest fanboy ever. Phil was obviously straight anyway, so he would freak out if he knew he had an 18 yearold gay stalker. So Dan let it be. To Phil, he was Danielle, nicknamed Dan. A sweet fangirl. 

At first, Dan had been okay with it. But as time went on, it got harder and harder to play that role. They’d been chatting for 5 months now. Dan’s made up girl life started to fade together, so he lived in constant fear that he’d forget something that he’d told Phil about.  
He never lied. Not really. Just some white lies to make him sound like a girl. He’d mentioned makeup and stuff like that a few times. He could’ve made it easier for himself by pretending to be a tomboy of course, but he figured Phil wouldn’t be into that. So he threw in some complaining about how expensive mascara and bras were once in a while, and things like that. He was willing to do anything just to keep Phil talking to him. To not get bored of him.

But Dan was scared. He got more scared every day. Their messages had always been flirty. But over the past 5 months they’d been in contact, they had only gotten more and more flirty. Of course Dan loved it. He had feelings for Phil. Strong feelings. Maybe even love. He suspected that Phil felt the same way about “him”, since he had suggested Skype a few times. Dan had made up lame excuses to not do it. He knew he couldn’t avoid it much longer though. His nightmare came true sooner than he expected.

 

It was Dan’s 19th birthday. He was exhausted after a long day out with his family. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to log onto twitter to check if Phil had remembered his birthday. He swore his heart skipped a beat when he saw the notification. It was from Phil of course. It’s not like he had any other friends.

Amazingphil: HAPPY 19TH DAN!!!!! :D Hope u had an amaaaaaaazing day <3

Dan smiled widely and replied as fast as he could, hoping Phil was still online.

Danisnotonfire: Thaaanks <3 Had a good day I guess. Was out with the family all day so soz for not replying 3 :(

Phil replied almost immedietly.

Amazingphil: That’s okay, I hope u had fun :) wish i could see u though…see what 19 yearold dan looks like :(  
Danisnotonfire: No no no u don’t wan’t to see me, i’m nothing special :P  
Amazingphil: C'mon dan, it’s been 5 months…I just want to see how beautiful u are :( I want a face to the adorable personality… u have seen my face so why can’t i see yours? xx

Dan felt his heart sink. He knew Phil was right. He knew it was totally unfair to Phil. He knew Phil wasn’t an old pedophile, but Phil knew nothing. What if he was scared? Dan thought about it. If he had videos of him online and spoke to someone who refused to show their face, he would be scared too. Dan had never really thought about that way before. He could be a lying creep in Phil’s mind. No wait, he was a lying creep. He wasn’t a sweet girl like Phil thought. He was a guy. A gay guy pretending to be a girl. Holy shit, what had he done?! He was no better than the thousands of lying pedophiles out there on the internet. No matter what he did, he was about to fuck up their friendship. If he refused to skype him, it would freak him out. He wouldn’t be able to trust Dan. But if he agreed, he would find out that Dan wasn’t a Danielle, and he would freak anyway. It would be easier to just never talk to him again. But he couldn’t do that to Phil. Sweet Phil. He deserved an explanation. Even if it would hurt him.

Danisnotonfire: Okay. I’ll do it. x

His hands were shaking as he typed the short sentence. It was over.

Amazingphil: Do what? Skype me?  
Danisnotonfire: Yes. x  
Amazingphil: OMG I cant believe it! I’m finally gonna see u! :D Are u totally sure about it though? I won’t force u love xx I’m just so curious about you.  
Danisnotonfire: I’m sure. Let’s just do it.  
Amazingphil: Okay :) I’m logged in now so just tell me when ur ready x  
Danisnotonfire: Just one more thing before we do this…  
Amazingphil: What is it baby? x  
Danisnotonfire: Just…please don’t hate me. ily xx

He could barely type because of his eyes tearing up. He tried to dry them with the sleeve of his hoodie, but he was shaking so much that he couldn’t do it properly. Fuck it. Phil would hate him anyways, so it didn’t matter that he looked like a crying weirdo. He closed his twitter tab, not waiting for a reply. Instead, he logged onto skype quickly. It only took a few seconds before he saw the incoming call. He took a deep breath and clicked to answer the call.

Phil’s face appeared on the screen. His black hair was a bit messy, but still perfect. He had a blue button up shirt on that Dan remebered him wearing in a few videos. His blue eyes were absolutely gorgeous in the light of his computer screen. He looked excited at first, but his face soon dropped. This was it. Dan’s room was badly lit, but it would still be obvious that he wasn’t the beautiful Danielle that Phil expected. Phil looked shocked. Dan sniffled and looked up from his lap that he’d been staring at for the past few seconds. He met Phil’s eyes for a brief moment, but looked away quickly. He couldn’t stand looking at his hurt face. Or maybe he was disgusted. Dan couldn’t really tell. He took a deep breath and gathered the courage to speak up after the long silence.

“ I…I know you hate me. I’m not the drop dead gorgeous Danielle you expected ” Dan’s hands were shaking and his sobbing made it difficult to talk. 

“ Dan ” Phil’s voice was soft, but he ignored it. He had to explain himself before Phil hung up and blocked him on every website that existed.

 

“ No Phil I need to explain myself. I was a creep. I fucked everything up. I just…I couldn’t help it. You’re amazing and I’m just…Dan. Daniel. I knew you’d be creeped out that I was a guy. I knew you’d like me better if I was a sweet girl. I just wanted you to be my friend. You’re the most amazing person I have ever met. I knew I should’ve stopped it when we became more and more flirty, but I liked it so much. I couldn’t stop. I’m so fucking sorry I fucked everything up. I wasted 5 fucking months of your life on a pathetic loser. I’m so sorry phil I’m so sorry please don’t hate me. I can’t live with you hating me ” He had to stop his rant to breathe in deeply. It almost felt like he was having a panic attack. He wasn’t even sure if Phil had heard what the hell he’d just said.

“ Dan, please look at me ” Phil’s voice pleaded. Dan had almost forgotten Phil was still there, watching him. He looked up slowly, scared to face him. He knew Phil must hate him.

“ Dan, I knew ” His voice was so soft and he even had a small smile on his face. Dan was confused as hell.

“ What? You knew what? ” Phil looked down and up at Dan again, chuckling quietly. 

“ I knew Danielle didn’t exist. Well, I didn’t know for sure, but the way you spoke…It was pretty obvious that you were a guy. But I was still scared that you might not be. I was scared that I hoped you were a guy so much that I was delusional and missed any signs that you were a girl. That’s why I was so shocked when I saw that I was actually right. Do you understand me Dan? ”  
It felt like he was looking straight into Dan’s soul. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the opposite. But Dan was still confused as hell. He had stopped crying atleast.

“ Uhm… I’m not sure I do actually. I thought…I thought you would hate me? I lied to you. I lied for 5 months. I led you on. I let you think you had met a sweet fangirl. All you got was a creepy fanboy. I deserve your hate Phil ”

“No! Listen to me Dan. I don’t hate you. I could never ever hate you. I understand why you did what you did, okay? Don’t worry about it. I never wanted a Danielle. Haven’t you figured that out by now? I wanted a Dan. Only Dan ” 

He was still confused. Things started to fall into place, but he was too scared to assume anything. Phil smiled at him on the computer screen. He looked genuine. There was just something about Phil’s face. He couldn’t look mean even if he tried. Dan believed him. He trusted him.

“ What are you trying to say? “ He tried in an attempt to get more answers. Phil laughed, but changed to a cheeky expression quickly.

“ Did you mean what you said in your last tweet to me? “ Dan did not expect that question. He couldn’t even remember what he wrote.

“ Uhm I don’t remember what I said? What did I say? “

“ You said you loved me. Well, you said ILY, but same thing. Did you mean it though? “ Phil almost looked shy when he asked, and it was adorable.

“ I-uhm… “ Dan hesitated. It would be risky to admit it, but he was tired. He was tired of lying. He’d might aswell throw that secret on Phil aswell. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“ Yes “ He opened his eyes slowly and saw Phil grinning on his screen.

“ Good, cause I love you too “ Dan felt like crying again. He could never have expected this in a million years. Amazingphil loved him. He had never felt this happy before in his entire life.

After over an hour of skyping, Dan went to bed with the biggest smile on his face. He was loved. He had a boyfriend. They had arranged to meet for the first time next week already. Dan couldn’t wait see him in person. They may have had a weird start of their relationship, but he had a feeling it would all work out.


End file.
